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I was in a train station and Tazz was there and there were several floors and the top floors were like a really old house that in another dream like months ago was my grandmothers house and in this dream Finza's helping me clear it out by having like a sale and everybody is buying stuff and i'm worried about going in this one room bc i'm thinking her ashes are in it and i get depressed so i walk down stairs and meet up with Tazz going toward the train station and we start talking about something involving um a sensitive subject i'm sure >_< [non sexual] and then we split up on the final level and its like a subway station but its not a subway train, well it is but the majority of the passengers have to cling to the outside of the train like there is a platform around the outside of the train big enough to stand but no rail and then i'm at work after the train ride [i think] and instead of the currys we know its like a stand alone building in the shape of like a staples and the staff is Peter, me and some random new people and Peter is the boss and then there is this insanely major storm and the whole building is moved and its like carried so far away along lakeshore that i don't recognize the town carried west too and then when we finally land i go out with a couple people in a truck to find out wats going on and we are going along the shoreline and for some reason there is like a strip plaza on the shore line and its still grey and dark from the storm and heres one of the more disturbing parts we are driving to avoid all the debris on the shore most of which being dead sea life like fish and mammals some of the most vivid were walruses and seals and some were still alive barely which was worse and it was horrible >_< and then when we drove back, carefully to the end of the strip mall they had moved everything into an empty unit at the corner of the mall, the currys store i mean, and i went inside and upstairs was supposed to be storage but it was like an attic of a HUGE house and there were giant paintings on the walls with tables infront of the paintings and a girl explaining that each painting and item on the tables were from someone in her family and i walked over to one and it looked like a rock and i looked up at the painting and it was an old woman but the face looked strange under the cobwebs so i looked closer and her face was a really deformed skull and i looked at the rock and it was her skull and the other paintings had similar bizarre freaky things and then for some reason a fire started, it involved the skull on the table and the woman telling us about the attic ran over to protect it and i ran over to help her and the floorboards gave way underneath and we fell into a dark nothing and the last thing i saw was her flesh being burned away
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| I'm feeling better lately even though i keep pissing off those closest to me >_<
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| Wow....just saw a gun on tv and remembered my dream last night...it was weird! A bunch of people hunting something in an old house with guns >_< i cant remember much else
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| I dunno, today was just a good day ^_^ got to hang with fun friends, eat good food and i gots a sword :P
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| Really feeling like everything I do is pointless lately, hence not really doing anything or trying at anything. If people are right the world as we know it ends in 2012, or 2014 i cant recall which. one minute people are talking about how horrible it will be the next they are talking about how they will own their own house in 10 yrs :S its confusing to say the least. All my life I've kept people at a distance and kept things to myself, its gotten to be an art in itself to keep things bottled in. Like for instance when I am attracted to a girl, I wont tell them, I'll just continue to be their friend and help them in any and every way to be happy because I feel I could never make them happy as anything more than a friend and if I cant be happy somebody might as well be. I seem to surround myself with amazing girls that are totally unattainable lol its frustratingly funny really. Another example is how much of a stranger I feel around my own family, I know almost nothing about them and I always feel the outsider at gatherings and keep off to the side with my nose buried in a book or sketchbook. An even better example is my friends, I seem to have a different best friend every few years and almost completely cut out the old one for one reason or another, usually not on purpose mind you but still...And the only "girlfriend" type of relationships I've ever had the guts to have have been online and they usually just use me till they find someone better whether it be because the other guy is in person with them or just better for them, and then they usually cut me out of their lives...I truely feel that I dont deserve to be happy, and that I would be a horrible boyfriend...that I am a horrible friend...and should be alone >_< I feel alone even in a crowded room full of people I know, people I care about, but I feel like I'm seprate from them, alone, god I hate being alone...
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